Retying the Apron Strings

….or maybe just wiping my tears in that nice soft worn cloth. It’s ok for me to tie my strings yet he’s only 14. Not going anywhere for a good bit. Children are such treasures…mine truly bless me daily. This one is getting an apple pie twister today! He’s been hinting at it for a couple of weeks and it seems like today should be the day…so when my 35 loaves of bread are baked I get to be a little creative for just us.

How is it possible this child of mine climbing from my front passenger seat is headed into high school? Yes, he’s nearly six foot tall, wears a size 13 shoe and from the back might be mistaken for a grown up. But, really that’s just my eldest baby. My first born son resting his head on the a car door for a moment at 6 am to give a tired I love you smile before slowly strutting off towards that huge school building to join a crew in the weight room. What a genius gentle soul is this young man of mine. The eldest of five brothers and wise already for his 14 years. My Mamma heart swells with pride as he meets each challenge and wants to hold on tight so he doesn’t grow away any faster.

I let my kids go so they can grow…I do it all the time. In the last year however its gotten a little harder since the loss of their Daddy. Every part of my being wants to wrap around them and hold them close and make sure they’re protected from this big bad world. It would be impossible to achieve that though. So I let them go and set them up with plenty of character forming opportunities. Things to help them learn explore and grow. Its intimidating at times but also exhilarating also as they begin to thrive. This child who seemed so timid to step forth again lifts his head as he walks. His confidence is growing and I find myself so very thankful. I surprised myself today as sat in the car watching him walk all the way to the school doors. (For safety you know it’s still a little dark out) I sat and wept with joy at the young man God is forming right before my eyes and wept for my weary Mamma heart that wants to cling to his little boy days for a good long while yet. Don’t grow away to fast my darling son. I miss you already….

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